Imagine you and your spouse building a brick wall together. One of you may primarily be the initiator, while the other will likely primarily be a helper.
What would it be like if one or the other of you refused to do his or her part? Instead, he/she either does nothing or criticizes everything his/her spouse is trying to build. Worse yet, imagine while one’s back is turned, the other knocking down the bricks and rocks that he/she had built up. In either case, the wall doesn’t progress and the conflict between husband and wife continually escalates. Eventually, the project is completely neglected. From time to time he/she comes and looks wistfully at that section of the wall but the weeds have grown and the tools have rusted. All hope of ever building anything is lost.
This scenario is repeated over and over in most struggling marriages. A husband tries to build godly headship in the home but his wife opposes or undermines him. A wife tries to initiate biblical parenting, but he won’t get involved. He tries to initiate sexual intimacy and she won’t respond. She wants deeper communication but he refuses to engage. And so it goes.
When was the last time you reflected on the „marriage wall” you’re building together? Are the roles clear? Is there passivity, undermining, or obstruction going on? Has stubbornness brought you to an impasse? If so, what needs to happen to resolve the issues and start building as partners again?
(From Biblical Answers for Struggling Marriages:31 Lessons for Marriage at an Impasse)
(source: Family Forum Japan – https://www.facebook.com/pages/Family-Forum-Japan/276606113129)